Grandma Jean.

There are no words that can possibly describe the tremendous loss our family is experiencing. Being so far away, words are all I have, and so I will try. Grandma Jean...has been more than just a grandma, mom, aunt, great-grandma, great-aunt, sister, daughter, wife, friend...she has been the glue that has kept our family together, she has been the link to our family history, the story-teller of times past, the wisdom, the humor, the bond, the blood that has made us a family. She is one of my favorite people on this planet, and she will be dearly missed. As I try to put into words how important she is to each and every person in our family, memories flash into my mind and every emotion in the book fills my heart. I remember...the grandma Jean of my childhood, visiting her home on weekends with dad, the smell of some kind of delicious Italian food filling the kitchen, going though her old photo albums that sat in the drawer under the tv, the Dodgers playing on the tv in the background, stealing candies from the jar on the coffee table, grandma and grandpa in their matching reclining chairs, or drinking soda on a warm day in her backyard, catching up on life, admiring her roses and that peculiar pond that sat in the corner with nothing in it, Frankie and I playing or just jumping off that "stage" in her backyard too. I remember her organ that sat in the dining room, and the smile she would get when my dad would play and we would all sit around, she would close her eyes, sometimes humming along - especially when he played her favorite "Spanish Eyes". I remember her enormous hugs and kisses when we walked to the front door like she could wipe away the problems of the world with them, and her standing outside waving goodbye as we drove away at the end of a nice visit. I remember staying over at her house sometimes as a kid, and having cornflakes for breakfast, and everything always being "nice..." especially the cornflakes. I will never forget the story I have been told of her waiting in line at the store for hours and hours to get a Cabbage Patch Doll, at the height of their popularity, for my 4th birthday. I would have never known it then that she worked so hard to get such a big smile on my face that day. I even remember her and grandpa taking the grandkids camping one summer - Gina, Frankie and I - I couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old and it was so exciting to stay in their fancy motorhome over night. I remember her sitting on the phone with me, patiently and happily, for about an hour, helping me complete a family tree report for grade school. I remember her excitement when I started wearing make-up, even if it was just for a school play, and the millions of times she took me shopping - always fun, buying me something special and embarrassing me with questions about boys when we’d stop for a nice lunch. I remember her visiting me at college during my first year, and showing off my little dorm room on the 3rd floor, after she and grandpa climbed about 200 steps to get there, and then her making the long journey again for my graduation. She was always there for the milestones in our lives - always proud...She rarely missed a chance to see Frankie perform, and she truly loved his gift in music, maybe even seeing the passion my dad has for music in my brother. Her story-telling was the best - of her adventures with Grandpa Don, or funny stories of my dad, aunt Pauline and uncle Joe as kids - those were our favorites. She always had us laughing no matter what. I remember staying in grandma’s guest room for a couple weeks after I graduated college, and us sitting in our pyjamas every night watching some sitcom or reality show on tv. She’d make a nice dinner or we would go out, I would chat with her about my new role in the "real world" and I didn’t realize then how important that little time was together. We would catch a movie here and there on weekends, and always a nice lunch. Mimi’s and Coco’s won’t be the same without her. Nothing will be the same without her....not Christmas especially. No ones cooking can even compare to Grandma Jean’s - there is no competing with her colorful Christmas cookies, or her spinaci bread which no one else has quite mastered like she did. She loved feeding her family, making sure we were all healthy... "Mangia!" she would say, even if we weren’t hungry, and we would, just cause she told us to and she always knew best. She loved all little children, loud, running around, the chaos, and just being surrounded by a family full of noise, laughs and love. And I loved the security of knowing grandma would be there ready with one of her powerful hugs every Christmas eve no matter what. She would always make everyone laugh by giving all the adult men the same gift, usually a sweater, in a different color so they had to open their presents at the same time, or stealing the best gift (even from one of the kids!) during the ‘Secret Santa’ gift exchange. The memories are endless - her voice, her Boston accent, her laugh, how sometimes she would laugh so hard she would cry, her face, her smile, her generous heart, her young spirit, her warmth, how she made everyone feel at home and part of the family, even Sean the few times he got to meet her, how she instilled such a strong sense of family within each of us... Family is everything... I remember the day I told her I was coming out to live in Italy for a year, and after she said, "Madonna!" she just said, "well, hurry up and get it out of your system already!" She told Sean to take good care of me...before we said our goodbyes.... I knew leaving to travel the world was a risk in the sense that things change, life changes, and people may leave the world we live in. I prayed grandma would be there when I returned - to hear my attempts at speaking Italian, to hear all about my adventures, and to share some of hers, to make us her famous canoli that I have been telling Sean all about, and to pick up life just where we left off. I prayed she would be there to see me get married someday, or even someday hold my children like she held us when we were babies.... Grandma lived 88 full years, living each day loved by her huge family. I have faith that grandma knows how loved she really is and how important she is to so many. And how this great big hole in our family will never be filled....will never be the same without her. I pray that God holds her tight, and that she is reunited with grandpa and aunt Subbi, as I know she has missed them terribly as well. I am forever grateful to have had such a special person in my life, that I knew my grandma and have had so many wonderful years of my life with her in it. About a million happy memories of grandma Jean will forever be in my heart.